One way to a thriving, loving, manifesting relationship is personal growth, self-development and most importantly spiritual development. Your relationship with others whether platonic, intimate, parental, associative and even professional is strictly based on your relationship with yourself. How you feel and think of yourself is what will be reflected to you in all aspects of your life and especially in your relationships. Your mental state, the internal conversation you are having with yourself, is always creating and manifesting in your reality. A person can only love you as much as you love yourself. One way to cultivate that love for self is giving yourself recognition. It’s about realizing that you are no longer where you were before. You have grown and made personal improvements. You begin to love and appreciate yourself when you realize where you are and where you have come from. The best relationships are those where both partners realize that their individual spiritual growth is growth for them both as a unit. We are always teaching and learning from each other in relationship. Doing your own personal spiritual internal work will lead you to the highest love. This doesn’t mean religious work at all. Spiritual work, is deeply investigating yourself and realizing what things from your childhood and overall past that are affecting you today. For example, when I was growing up I don’t remember my parents telling me I was beautiful. That may seem like nothing, but as a young girl in this harsh society, that was something I needed to hear regularly so that when I entered the lion’s den of middle school, high school and even college I walked into all rooms knowing that I am beautiful and deserve the best. I had to realize that experiencing the lack of positive self- image affirmations from my parents in my childhood, led me to act certain ways and make some poor decisions in my adulthood. Nothing scandalous lol, but I did realize after doing some self-investigation that I could’ve valued myself more in certain situations, even down to something as simple as what I decided to wear out. After doing self-investigation, I realized that if I don’t think or feel that I’m beautiful, sexy, and feminine then the people I’m in correspondence or relationship with won’t think so either. Then the personal spiritual work began. In the spirit realm everyone is beautiful. We are all designed specifically and strategically to perform a certain task. I had to realize this by looking in the mirror and reminding myself of this daily using AFFIRMATIONS! After some time, I noticed tremendous growth in my self-confidence. This work in turn, led my love to see me as more beautiful and sexier. Almost every day he had something funny and sweet to say about my appearance. This would not have happened if it were not for the personal work I did within myself.

Your relationship with yourself will be reflected in your relationship with others. If you don’t feel worthy of the best love, then you will not receive the best genuine love. If you feel unwanted and undervalued, then your partner will not fully treat you as someone wanted and of high value. The most important thing you as an individual can do to improve your intimate, family or professional relationships is to fix them in your head. THE MIND IS ALL. THE UNIVERSE IS MENTAL. Whatever your mind focuses on and is emotionally attached to whether positive or negative, will be reflected in your reality. Doing personal spiritual work will keep a relationship moving in the right direction if both partners are genuinely, wholeheartedly focused on better knowing and understanding their divine self. This knowing comes from going within your mind and heart. Your divine mind/heart holds all your memories and emotions. Some of these memories and emotions have affected you in ways that are still affecting you today. Do you ever find yourself having an experience (positive or negative) that reminds you of something that happened years ago? Things from your past must be left in the past unless you are dealing with it for healing purposes. Most people are just holding on to their past joys and sadness and repeating them just with a different face. This is not how you live out your best life spiritually and mentally.  Your time on this planet is specifically to rewrite your life story, despite your past and create the life you desire using your divine mind. The only way to successfully create the life you deserve is to go within, deal and heal the experiences and emotions you don’t want to experience again. I mean it makes perfect sense. If you do not learn, grow, solve and heal your shit it will keep coming up until you do. Spiritual work is the only way to create positive, beneficial relationships. This is because your internal make-up is always revealing to you what things you need to release to be the best you possible. And relationships can only thrive when two people are wholeheartedly striving to be their best divine selves as individuals.


Again, this has nothing to do with religiosity. This is not, I repeat not about being the best Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Satanist or whatever you worship possible. Though you have your religion, your shit is still standing right here right now. You can’t give your personal spiritual duty to someone or something outside of yourself. If you are doing that then you, yourself are not learning, healing, growing from your experiences. That’s like passing the basketball at the last second letting someone else shoot it and you still wanting the recognition for hitting the game winning shot. Spiritual growth, ascension and evolvement can only be done by you and you only. This life is your journey and you are your own savior and hero in the story. When you think and act from this space you are the best partner a person can ask for. This is because if you want the best for yourself you have no other option but to want the best for your partner as well. Manifesting kind relationships are created when two individual people are coming together already whole and sacred within themselves. The only way to be whole and healed is to go to that unknown place where all experiences exist and remember what happened that caused you to lack confidence in yourself, lack trust, lack abundance and feel fear. All the answers can be found in your heart and mind. The root of where these emotions whether good or bad stem from, is within. Figure out where they started and heal them. Once you have faced your demons and acknowledged that they are there, you can do the work to release it from your heart and create the life and relationship you’ve always known you could and should have. It’s all up to you. Deciding in your mind and heart that you want to learn and grow spiritually and mentally for yourself first, then everything will follow. I guarantee it from experience.


With Love

The Relationship Alchemist


P.S Like on the airplane they tell you to give yourself oxygen first then help the person beside you. Only after you take care of yourself in every aspect and way first, then you can take care of others.

  • Finally… i will bookmark this, proud of you yo!! It’s time… #LUTS #VM

  • Awesome. Pure wisdom at such a young age. These are words that sound like they come from a person like me: multiple marriages, wonderful children from past relationships, heart of gold, and still learning and paying for past mistakes. My relationships though, are all solid. No anger, no grudges. All based on my ability to love myself unconditionally, and reflect that image of self-worth onto others who I come into contact with.
    My darling, you are a Unicorn! There are only a few!

    • Thank you! I learned and still learn a lot from you. And I appreciate you for just being who you are. I have more awesome things that come to my mind that I know will help myself and others. So stay on the look out! Love you and thanks for reading! It means a lot to have your support! ?