LOVE & WAR

LOVE & WAR

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LOVE & WAR

How “disagreements” can improve your relationships!

  1. A disagreement simply means two opposing perspectives on the same situation. Meaning, the way you see a circumstance is different from how your partner sees the situation. How we perceive experiences is based off our past. How we grow from disagreements is through being able to think outside the box and expand your perception. This doesn’t mean that you must agree with your partners view point, but you do want to be able to listen for understanding and grow your consciousness.

download - Copy             a. Listening is imperative. There are signs to recognize when your partner is not listening emphatically as well as when you have zoned out as your partner is speaking. Ex. Lack of eye contact, not rephrasing what has been said, not asking clarifying questions, not saying simple things like “yea, um huh, I understand”. These are signs of when a person is not listening with their heart for understanding, which inevitably will hinder a relationship if not dealt with.

2. Relationships are mirrors. Every relationship we engage in reflects some aspect of our consciousness in this space and time. And when we have disagreements within our intimate relationships, it’s an opportunity for us to look at ourselves and discover where we may have perceived a situation from a negative standpoint based on our ego. When we are relating from a soul level, sacredly and divinely, a lot of times our partners are aware of things that we don’t notice about ourselves. For example, not wanting to be alone, neediness, being pessimistic, self-involved etc. These are the conversations that are most difficult to have. The ones where you must look within, self-reflect and truly understand, how your feelings and reactions to certain a situation stems from your past. Though challenging, this is a great opportunity to deal and heal our past trauma that we feel like no longer affects us. Most disagreements stem from past experiences not being dissected completely and rectified. Use your partner and your disagreements as a reflection of what you need to address.

images          b. On a deeper level LOVE IS YOU! You are LOVE! Your partner, soul mate, husband, wife is just a means for you to express the love that you ultimately have for yourself. Hence the saying “if you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else.” Because love is you, and love seeks to teach and refine you, disagreements must happen so that you can reflect, change and grow. “TOUGH LOVE”! It is love that sometimes hurt and at the same time heal.

3. Disagreements allow you to surrender the ego and give into love. Love is annihilation. Disagreements will make you release who you think you are in order to get back to the “love space”. I coined the term “love space” to describe the energy surrounding your union when things are smooth, easy, free and flowing. This is the space that we want to remain in but of course, that is not possible. What is possible, is getting back to this frequency after a disagreement. Surrendering to the ego will allow you to get back to the peaceful energy quicker. Suspending what you think you know and who you think you are, means no longer wanting to be right or fearing being wrong. Letting go of your false self means you care more about your love and your union than your conscious mind will lead you to believe. It’s vital that both partners surrender their ego in order to have a relationship that withstands the test of time. If you do not allow your love to annihilate the ego it will ruin you and your relationship. Both partners must consistently destroy the ego, so that their self-awareness and relationship awareness increase. This way, couples aren’t fighting the same fight repeatedly. Instead, you surrender in order to self-reflect and do the work, so that your perception changes and you see things from a higher level of consciousness.

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c. Your ego is the insane thoughts that just wont stop. If thoughts are running rampant in your head how can you hear your partner beyond the words that they are speaking but into the emotions they are relaying. Your ego already has a response before your partner has finished their last word. The ego interrupts. It is negative and condescending to you and your partner. Your ego serves to protect you. It doesn’t want you to change whether your behaviors are positive or negative. In sacred relationships, we are free to be vulnerable and acknowledge the areas we need to grow in.

d.UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! Letting go is easy when you understand YOU ARE LOVE! LOVE IS YOU!

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LET YOUR UNION AND THE DISAGREEMENTS WITHIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP GUIDE YOU TO HIGHER LEVELS OF THINKING AND BEING. THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY EVOLVE AND BE YOUR BEST SELF IS BY EXPERIENCE. WE MUST BREAKDOWN OUR EXPERIENCES INTO SMALL FRAGMENTS. WHAT HAPPENED, HOW DID IT MAKE ME FEEL, AND HOW DID I REACT. THINK BACK TO PREVIOUS SITUATIONS IN YOUR LIFE WHERE AN EXPERIENCE FELT THE SAME AND MOST LIKELY YOU REACTED THE SAME. THIS IS THE WORK YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO REALLY LIVE AND LOVE TO YOUR SPIRITUAL POTENTIAL. CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. CHOOSE THE “LOVE SPACE” THAT IS DIVINELY YOU, THAT SERVES TO TEACH YOU! WHEN WE THINK OF DISAGREEMENTS AS A MEANS FOR GROWTH OUR MENTALITY CHANGES IN REGARDS TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS. WE NO LONGER THINK AND FEEL THAT ONE OR TWO OR THREE ARGUMENTS IS THE END OF OUR UNION. 

With Love, 

DRA’