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4 Reasons Why You and Your Mate Should Meditate!

4 Reasons Why You and Your Mate Should Meditate! 500 333 thebillminorgroup


There are many reasons why couples should mediate together and/or separate. There has been profound endless knowledge and wisdom on the benefits of meditating in a spiritual and material sense. Meditation is the key to evolvement on this plane. Meditation is the main way to allow the subconscious to reveal to you the things that need to be changed or cultivated in the higher dimensions and in the physical realm. Meditation is Everything. If you are not meditating you ain’t doing Shit! LOL! The 4 main reasons meditating together and separately benefit your union is;

1. Manifestation 
2. Spiritual enlightenment 
3. Peace of Mind/Surrender the Ego and Negative Emotion
4. Creativity 

In this realm to be a God/Goddess you have to manifest. Being able to create as a couple is one way to maintain a healthy thriving relationship. Manifestation of the things that are of substance and true meaning are difficult to do without meditating. When we meditate for manifestation as a couple, separately or together we conjoin the forces of our individual God and Goddess energy to allow the realization of what we have agreed upon to come quicker. Successful relationships thrive upon sharing ideas, goals, and creations. Meditation allows both partners to decide what they want to manifest from the heart chakra and not solely based on the lower chakras. In my relationship visualizations as a union has proven to be powerful and produces almost instant results. We like to create a scene in our mind’s eye even if there are some minor differences and focus on that for a set amount of time. We do this separately or together and especially during lovemaking, which inevitably puts you into a meditative state. You cannot manifest for yourself or as a couple without knowing that you are capable of having that which you want to create. The knowing comes from meditating and releasing the thought patterns that have inhibited you from receiving. 

“Enlightenment results from the realizing the unreality of existence” Bobby Hemmit. Meditation is key in spiritual enlightenment . Relationships between Gods & Goddesses are dependent on both partners evolving and growing within their spiritual light. You cannot realize the unreality of this existence without tapping into the higher realms of the mind and imagination through mediation. Partners have to meditate to continue peeling back the layers of this existence to get into the many dimensions that we arise from. Mediation is the gateway into the darkness by which we receive light. Light being knowledge, wisdom & understanding. Spiritual light is obtained by going within our mind and unlocking all the things that we already know. Without meditation we stay in the illusionary world not receiving from our higher self. Both partners must meditate to tap into who and what they divinely are. This way your relationship last and is able to see all situations that arise from a higher perspective. Both partners having a meditation practice ensures that the relationship in a spiritual sense is revolving and elevating in consciousness. Mediation allows for the union to have balance between the realms.

To maintain peace you have to mediate. Human shit is going to happen. Within your union there will be disagreements, bills, misunderstandings etc. Having a meditation practice allows you to handle those disagreements in the most beneficial way possible. Meditation allows you to detach from the emotions and view the situations that arise objectively. Peace within your relationship is vital. Being able to handle adversity is key in maintaining your union. Meditating allows you to surrender the ego. If one person in the relationship is not participating in a spiritual practice like meditation, yoga, tai chi or something that causes you to witness and be an observer of the ego there is a lack of balance. While one partner is receiving light another is heavy tipping the Libra scales. 

Being a creator and expressing your creative side is very important to maintain some internal peace. Meditation naturally allows you to tap in to the things that make you divinely you. We all have our gifts that we came here to express. Meditating allows those gifts to be revealed to us and how we are to uniquely express it. Creativity comes by way of channels. Without quieting the mind you only hear your own chatter and not the wisdom from your higher self or more evolved spiritual entities. Without doing creative work you often feel stagnant and less motivated. Creativity is the fire that dwells within Gods and Goddesses. Like stated previously to be God/Goddess you have to create, put your hands and heart to something. Meditation gives us the ability to KNOW what it is we have been sent here to do and how we will do it. If you are not creating you ain’t doing SHIT. Which naturally causes frustration. And frustration in a relationship can be damaging. Creative expression comes from within. You have to go within by way of mediation to produce something without! Meditating for creativity as a couple ensures that both partners are excited about the work they are doing. 

Meditation is the gateway to all things. Manifesting, Enlightenment, Peace and Creativity comes from going within. If you never silence the mind to hear your divinity speak, you become consumed in the world and are therefore of this world. Your thoughts & actions are solely based on everything outside of you. This leads to insanity, depression and other low vibration emotions which ultimately impede one from having a dynamic spiritual relationship. COUPLES NEED MEDITATION. It is utter necessity to mediate and participate in some type of spiritual practice if we want to fulfill the purpose of our soul in this reality with a Soul Mate.

Love DRA


The Mind, Music & Marriage

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The Mind:  the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought. 

The Mind is ALL. It is fertile ground for any seed to be planted. Whatever you feed your mind, if watered and nurtured it will sprout and make manifest in this reality. The Mind is programmed by symbols, trauma and repetition. Whatever program you are attuned to is what will be reflected in your life. 

Music: an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

Music is the universal language of the UNI-VERSE (One Song). Music has specific vibrations and frequencies which directly effect ones emotions, consciously or unconsciously. Music communicates precisely with the subconscious mind.   

Marriage: The legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a ‘s personal relationship :(Webster’s Definition) 

DRA’s Definition: two souls agreeing to explore, evolve, create and conjoin Yin-Yang forces (masculine & feminine energies) to experience unconditioned love as the ALL. 

 Now that we understand the basics of the Mind, Music and Marriage let’s discover How Music can be used to create or destroy intimate relationships.

  1. Music is a program within itself. Whatever music you listen to everyday becomes your unspoken affirmation. Often times people listen to music unconsciously. Bobbing your head to the beat and rhythm not knowing that you are unconsciously saying yes to the words being spoken. (hence the bobbing). All music carries a frequency. 

2. Since repetition is one way to program the subconscious mind, it is no coincidence that music easily programs us. The radio is a form of warfare on the mind. Have you ever noticed how stations play the same songs over and over again. Intentionally programming the dead unconsciously. The music our people are listening to is a form of terrorism upon ourselves.

(Insert David banner video)

3. The same music can program our mind for low vibration dead shit it can also be used to create a beautiful high vibrational reality as shown but the (Asian doctor who did the sound test on water and rice)

4. In my own experience I manifested the most beautiful love. One that grows, expands, refines, challenges, purifies, bring light out of darkness. I did by way of music. I programmed myself with songs like Stevie Wonder “I’ll be loving you always” Sade “No ordinary love” Anita Baker “Giving you the best that I got & Angel and so much more.

Searching for Inspiration

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I’ve been searching for inspiration. I know and understand what it is that I want to create, manifest and bring into my reality but the actual steps and the process I am unclear on. I have been reading “How to Unleash the Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by James Van Fleet (GREAT READ) and these moments of uncertainty about what to write are exactly the times when you must turn the problem over to the subconscious mind and wait for an answer. My life over the past couple of years has not been exactly what I thought I had planned. I come up with idea after idea about what I need to do to satisfy this missing piece within myself, its an urge or a knowing that there just has to be more on all fronts. Spiritually, Mentally, Physically, Financially, Romantically. I’ve come to realize that the feeling of incompleteness cannot be satisfied through anything tangible. What I am missing and am in search of is the WHOLENESS that is our birth right as spirit beings on this planet. This WHOLENESS, ONENESS, HOLINESS comes from a place that reaches beyond all forms of existence and realms. It is being connected to the higher divine planes from which we all come. It’s knowing, understanding and operating as God within rather relying on the supposed God without. I know my dreams, goals and aspirations will become my reality. I also know that it will take me clearing the subconscious blocks I have acquired over the years through experience, hearsay, and many more things that I have been receptive and vulnerable to knowingly and unknowingly. NOW is the time for me to clear the roadways of my mind of traffic jams and collisions. NOW is the time to plant beautiful, abundant gifts that never stop giving along the pathways in my mind. I must implant all the things that I want and rightfully deserve. I understand that it will take consistency, persistence and perseverance to transform the negative self talk that has penetrated and taken over my mind and I have set goals that I WILL stick to and see through. I AM FED UP!

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Often times we become consumed in what society has deemed the life to live. Whether it’s what the media deems beautiful, the perfect job, relationship, money etc….we are allowing someone or something outside of ourselves to determine what it is we should want and shrive for. In all reality, the best things for us are the things that come from our own heart. I wrote this post initially in a place where I viewed my circumstances based off what I was being told via TV, radio, social media and people. While in that place I was dissatisfied with my current job, home life and much more. I’ve come to learn that when you dive in and understand that every experience, person, place or thing is there to better you, you appreciate the moments and experiences that bothered you originally. But, the only way to receive the lesson and grow from where you are is to surrender and listen to the voice within.  When we surrender, we allow ourselves to be an open channel for our higher divine selves to speak and lead us in the direction we must go to evolve and live the life we rightfully deserve, a life of peace, passion and prosperity.When your heart is open and your mind is clear you realize exactly why you are in your situation and what you must do to make the best of it. For example, like I stated earlier I was completely unhappy with my current job but Spirit (divinity living in you) revealed to me that my current position is what allows me the time to work on my blog, The Divine_Melanin life coaching and much more. Things are being revealed to me everyday about why I am doing what I’m doing in this moment. I had another “AHA” moment late at night while relaxing. My higher self revealed to me that I was working with students so that I could learn to better understand them and their spiritual development to help parents and other teachers lead and guide their children/students in the best way possible holistically. We are all called to complete a certain task during our stay on Earth. Until you start living out your divine task and purpose is this mundane human world can overwhelm you.

So in searching for inspiration, search from within. Be open and aware to all the signs and symbols that point you in the direction that fulfills your life’s yearn for something more. In every aspect of your life as you know it there is a direct spiritual correspondence. Understand and know that every situation, person and experience is for a divine reason, past the everyday worldly humdrum. What did I do to embrace the now…..I REMEMBERED TO BREATHE! BREATH is LIFE. BREATH is SPIRIT. No BREATH…NO LIFE! Breathing allows you to pull in that life force; prana and to refocus, reinvigorate and recharge. Breathing slows down our minds when we have become consumed in the rat race. When we breathe we allow our higher divine selves to speak so softly and sweetly in our ears. And when we are willing and ready to hear and listen we will. The celestial words we hear are the words the cause us to have those awakening moments. These moments of realization are what grounds you in the now. These moments also help you understand exactly why you are where you are and allow you to take full advantage of the moment. You are able to witness the spirit realm at work.

4 Ways to a Thriving Relationship

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gerund or present participle: thriving
  1. to grow or develop well or vigorously.
    “the new baby thrived”
    • prosper; flourish.

A thriving relationship is one that is constantly progressing in every way possible.

Do this to achieve a thriving relationship;

1. Seek to Know Thyself

2. Be in the Flow State

3. Perform Mental Alchemy

4. Support 

  1. Know thyself

A. Seeking to know oneself: you can only love someone as much as you love yourself. Your love for self expands when you realize who you are, what you are and why you are here. When you truly understand your purpose your love for self blossoms. You take responsibility for your existence and choose to love and live to the fullest. Your relationship with others improve and thrive because you improve and thrive. Knowing who you are at the core lights a fire within your soul that can never go out. That fire is what fuels you to fulfill the purpose you came here with. When lovers are purposeful in their actions in their day to day life your relationship can only flourish and prosper.

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       2. Go with the Flow

B. There will always be ebb and flow because that is the law of the universe. The pendulum must swing. But in a thriving relationship both partners operate from this understanding. Because we know who we are as individuals, we understand when it is time for us to be still and  when we need to move. A thriving relationship is always progressing there is no stagnation. Stillness is not stagnation. Stagnation is when the relationship is not growing. Whether married or dating there should be some tangible growth whether buying a house, investing, starting a business as well as spiritual growth in which you are your partner should be able to recognize. Are you all able to finish each other’s sentence, are we thinking the same way, when you think of your partner do they call or text you? Thriving relationships grow into synchronicity and have a vibrant synergy. You simply work well together and get shit done! Image result for infinity symbol

I ADMIRE MY MAN! HE GETS SHIT DONE. HE’S SO DISCIPLINE, SELF MOTIVATED, ALWAYS REACHING NEW HEIGHTS IN HIS SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. HE IS JUST DIVINE! Which is another important thing in a thriving relationship. BALANCE! Being what the other person is not. Yin & Yang! That’s not to say that you don’t enter the relationship whole in body, mind and spirit because that’s the only way to have a relationship with a solid foundation. What I am saying is that there are personality traits that you and your partner have, that balance out the whole. For example, I’m outgoing, an extrovert by nature. My partner is an introvert and would rather observe than engage. It would look crazy if we were both talking to everybody in the party right? Instead he calms me when maybe I’m being too social and when he is not, I bring him more so out of his shell. BALANCE! A THRIVING COUPLE HAS BALANCE WITHIN THE DYNAMICS OF THE RELATIONSHIP.


3. Mental alchemy means taking your thought processes from one pattern to another based on what you want to accomplish. It means going from thinking like a worker to thinking like a boss. Thinking like you are single to thinking like a life partner. It means transforming your mind. Be renewed by the transforming of your mind. A thriving couple is always doing the mental alchemy for the benefit of the individual and the benefit of the whole. The hardest part of doing the mental alchemy is the self evaluation. Listening to your thoughts and understanding how they align with your actions and your reality. Like I said in the Love and War Vlog, a lot of our thoughts and behaviors are habits we picked up as kiddos, what we have seen our parents do. The programming they have placed upon us by the programming that was bestowed upon them. It’s so important in a thriving relationship to recognize which thought forms are your own and which have been given to you. You must do the work to establish what you want to keep and what you want to transform. On a deeper more spiritual level the mental alchemy is transforming yourself to be the God and Goddess you came here as. ??‍♀️ Many are called few are chosen. Are you of the chosen few ready to live and operate from the throne that is rightfully yours. If so, there is a lot of purging and cleansing of negative thought forms that we have do. In a thriving relationship both partners and constantly cleansing and investigating their thoughts. The bounds of growth are endless. We can always been transforming our minds. One example of this is in my self confidence and self love. I realized that in my past I put on brave face and even spoke highly of myself to cover up how I was truly feeling. The actions and some of the negative relationships I had with people were reflections of that. In which I didn’t realize until I decided to do some mental alchemy. I wanted to change. I wanted to truly feel beautiful from the inside out. Therefore I changed my internal conversation with myself. I began telling myself I’m internally beautiful everyday and the outside has no choice but to follow suit. And it did. Mental alchemy is doing the internal work and allowing the external reality to reflect that. Jay Z said it best “our external reality is an opportunity to heal our internal upset. Let’s build a cathedral the evils couldn’t fuck with. I wanna spend my Saturdays and my latter days eating sundaes, enjoying Monday’s, not worrying about what none say Yonce! THIS IS MENTAL ALCHEMY! 


A. S-Safety

B. U-Understanding

C. P-Purpose

D. P- Patient & Present

E. O-Openness

F. R-Recognition

G. T-Trust

A thriving relationship has unlimited SUPPORT in the pursuit of purpose! You and your partner should feel safe in this journey. Knowing that in all of your experiences, your trials and triumphs you have someone to lend and emphatic ear and genuine care. SAFETY gives way to a level of freedom needed in order to manifest your best self. Many times we are in relationships with that special someone because they just understand. They are the cream to your coffee. ?☕️They just know what to say and do to make you feel heard.

In thriving relationships their is an unspoken level of UNDERSTANDING. You just get one another. And when you don’t, you seek to. In thriving supportive relationships you operate from PURPOSE. True happiness in this life comes from the realizing and living out your sacred purpose. Partners in a thriving relationship understand this and strive to ensure that both individuals and doing just that. You also possess the awareness that fulfilling this purpose is a journey and every space you find yourselves in is for the manifestation of that purpose.

PATIENT & PRESENT. These two concepts are huge in being supportive within your thriving relationship. Like OMG. It’s vital to comprehend that the realization and manifestation of your dreams take presence and patience. It means BEING in THE NOW. Being meaning feeling & sensing. Thriving relationships blossom because both spouses are fully present within the relationship and are patient with one another as you grow.

Are you really open to change and growth? OPENNESS is the gateway to bring in a new reality. Thriving relationships give way for growth and expansion. Openness is open mindedness about where you are and where you can go. Openness is your willingness to explore the unknown. Isn’t it so nice to be awarded for something? YES, HELL YES! It feels good to receive RECOGNITION for your efforts. Thriving relationships and built upon words of affirmations.  Words like “thank you, I love you, I love your work, I see you baby working hard and all, damn you looking good” lol all of these are ways that we recognize our partner. In Thriving relationships both partners are always ensuring their partner that they see and appreciate the work they are doing to create the best reality possible. Little things like recognition go a long way.

Last but definitely not the least is TRUST. Trust is for a lifetime. Thriving relationships are built upon trust. Trust and truth, even when it hurts. Trust that both partners have the best interest of the relationship at heart. The topic of trust is an entire article of its own. Trust comes from an internal knowing. And if one is lacking trust then ultimately you lack the trust in yourself and your intuition. WOW. If you can’t trust it’s because you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions in the people, places and things you decide to share you energy with. ???. Thriving relationships only happen when both partners trust who they are as individuals which comes by way of KNOWING. Knowing who you are, what you are, and why you are here. When you KNOW the answers to those questions trusting becomes easy because you understand that nothing is outside of you. Every experience you have is for spiritual development and growth.  You are emotionally, mentally and spiritually equipped to handle anything that enters your reality, as hard as that may be to fathom its the TRUTH.

So again, the way to a THRIVING RELATIONSHIP is;


2. Make Leaps & Bounds together

3. Fuck Woke, Do Work (Mental Alchemy)





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How “disagreements” can improve your relationships!

  1. A disagreement simply means two opposing perspectives on the same situation. Meaning, the way you see a circumstance is different from how your partner sees the situation. How we perceive experiences is based off our past. How we grow from disagreements is through being able to think outside the box and expand your perception. This doesn’t mean that you must agree with your partners view point, but you do want to be able to listen for understanding and grow your consciousness.

download - Copy             a. Listening is imperative. There are signs to recognize when your partner is not listening emphatically as well as when you have zoned out as your partner is speaking. Ex. Lack of eye contact, not rephrasing what has been said, not asking clarifying questions, not saying simple things like “yea, um huh, I understand”. These are signs of when a person is not listening with their heart for understanding, which inevitably will hinder a relationship if not dealt with.

2. Relationships are mirrors. Every relationship we engage in reflects some aspect of our consciousness in this space and time. And when we have disagreements within our intimate relationships, it’s an opportunity for us to look at ourselves and discover where we may have perceived a situation from a negative standpoint based on our ego. When we are relating from a soul level, sacredly and divinely, a lot of times our partners are aware of things that we don’t notice about ourselves. For example, not wanting to be alone, neediness, being pessimistic, self-involved etc. These are the conversations that are most difficult to have. The ones where you must look within, self-reflect and truly understand, how your feelings and reactions to certain a situation stems from your past. Though challenging, this is a great opportunity to deal and heal our past trauma that we feel like no longer affects us. Most disagreements stem from past experiences not being dissected completely and rectified. Use your partner and your disagreements as a reflection of what you need to address.

images          b. On a deeper level LOVE IS YOU! You are LOVE! Your partner, soul mate, husband, wife is just a means for you to express the love that you ultimately have for yourself. Hence the saying “if you don’t love yourself, how can you love someone else.” Because love is you, and love seeks to teach and refine you, disagreements must happen so that you can reflect, change and grow. “TOUGH LOVE”! It is love that sometimes hurt and at the same time heal.

3. Disagreements allow you to surrender the ego and give into love. Love is annihilation. Disagreements will make you release who you think you are in order to get back to the “love space”. I coined the term “love space” to describe the energy surrounding your union when things are smooth, easy, free and flowing. This is the space that we want to remain in but of course, that is not possible. What is possible, is getting back to this frequency after a disagreement. Surrendering to the ego will allow you to get back to the peaceful energy quicker. Suspending what you think you know and who you think you are, means no longer wanting to be right or fearing being wrong. Letting go of your false self means you care more about your love and your union than your conscious mind will lead you to believe. It’s vital that both partners surrender their ego in order to have a relationship that withstands the test of time. If you do not allow your love to annihilate the ego it will ruin you and your relationship. Both partners must consistently destroy the ego, so that their self-awareness and relationship awareness increase. This way, couples aren’t fighting the same fight repeatedly. Instead, you surrender in order to self-reflect and do the work, so that your perception changes and you see things from a higher level of consciousness.

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c. Your ego is the insane thoughts that just wont stop. If thoughts are running rampant in your head how can you hear your partner beyond the words that they are speaking but into the emotions they are relaying. Your ego already has a response before your partner has finished their last word. The ego interrupts. It is negative and condescending to you and your partner. Your ego serves to protect you. It doesn’t want you to change whether your behaviors are positive or negative. In sacred relationships, we are free to be vulnerable and acknowledge the areas we need to grow in.

d.UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS! Letting go is easy when you understand YOU ARE LOVE! LOVE IS YOU!

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With Love, 






One way to a thriving, loving, manifesting relationship is personal growth, self-development and most importantly spiritual development. Your relationship with others whether platonic, intimate, parental, associative and even professional is strictly based on your relationship with yourself. How you feel and think of yourself is what will be reflected to you in all aspects of your life and especially in your relationships. Your mental state, the internal conversation you are having with yourself, is always creating and manifesting in your reality. A person can only love you as much as you love yourself. One way to cultivate that love for self is giving yourself recognition. It’s about realizing that you are no longer where you were before. You have grown and made personal improvements. You begin to love and appreciate yourself when you realize where you are and where you have come from. The best relationships are those where both partners realize that their individual spiritual growth is growth for them both as a unit. We are always teaching and learning from each other in relationship. Doing your own personal spiritual internal work will lead you to the highest love. This doesn’t mean religious work at all. Spiritual work, is deeply investigating yourself and realizing what things from your childhood and overall past that are affecting you today. For example, when I was growing up I don’t remember my parents telling me I was beautiful. That may seem like nothing, but as a young girl in this harsh society, that was something I needed to hear regularly so that when I entered the lion’s den of middle school, high school and even college I walked into all rooms knowing that I am beautiful and deserve the best. I had to realize that experiencing the lack of positive self- image affirmations from my parents in my childhood, led me to act certain ways and make some poor decisions in my adulthood. Nothing scandalous lol, but I did realize after doing some self-investigation that I could’ve valued myself more in certain situations, even down to something as simple as what I decided to wear out. After doing self-investigation, I realized that if I don’t think or feel that I’m beautiful, sexy, and feminine then the people I’m in correspondence or relationship with won’t think so either. Then the personal spiritual work began. In the spirit realm everyone is beautiful. We are all designed specifically and strategically to perform a certain task. I had to realize this by looking in the mirror and reminding myself of this daily using AFFIRMATIONS! After some time, I noticed tremendous growth in my self-confidence. This work in turn, led my love to see me as more beautiful and sexier. Almost every day he had something funny and sweet to say about my appearance. This would not have happened if it were not for the personal work I did within myself.

Your relationship with yourself will be reflected in your relationship with others. If you don’t feel worthy of the best love, then you will not receive the best genuine love. If you feel unwanted and undervalued, then your partner will not fully treat you as someone wanted and of high value. The most important thing you as an individual can do to improve your intimate, family or professional relationships is to fix them in your head. THE MIND IS ALL. THE UNIVERSE IS MENTAL. Whatever your mind focuses on and is emotionally attached to whether positive or negative, will be reflected in your reality. Doing personal spiritual work will keep a relationship moving in the right direction if both partners are genuinely, wholeheartedly focused on better knowing and understanding their divine self. This knowing comes from going within your mind and heart. Your divine mind/heart holds all your memories and emotions. Some of these memories and emotions have affected you in ways that are still affecting you today. Do you ever find yourself having an experience (positive or negative) that reminds you of something that happened years ago? Things from your past must be left in the past unless you are dealing with it for healing purposes. Most people are just holding on to their past joys and sadness and repeating them just with a different face. This is not how you live out your best life spiritually and mentally.  Your time on this planet is specifically to rewrite your life story, despite your past and create the life you desire using your divine mind. The only way to successfully create the life you deserve is to go within, deal and heal the experiences and emotions you don’t want to experience again. I mean it makes perfect sense. If you do not learn, grow, solve and heal your shit it will keep coming up until you do. Spiritual work is the only way to create positive, beneficial relationships. This is because your internal make-up is always revealing to you what things you need to release to be the best you possible. And relationships can only thrive when two people are wholeheartedly striving to be their best divine selves as individuals.


Again, this has nothing to do with religiosity. This is not, I repeat not about being the best Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Satanist or whatever you worship possible. Though you have your religion, your shit is still standing right here right now. You can’t give your personal spiritual duty to someone or something outside of yourself. If you are doing that then you, yourself are not learning, healing, growing from your experiences. That’s like passing the basketball at the last second letting someone else shoot it and you still wanting the recognition for hitting the game winning shot. Spiritual growth, ascension and evolvement can only be done by you and you only. This life is your journey and you are your own savior and hero in the story. When you think and act from this space you are the best partner a person can ask for. This is because if you want the best for yourself you have no other option but to want the best for your partner as well. Manifesting kind relationships are created when two individual people are coming together already whole and sacred within themselves. The only way to be whole and healed is to go to that unknown place where all experiences exist and remember what happened that caused you to lack confidence in yourself, lack trust, lack abundance and feel fear. All the answers can be found in your heart and mind. The root of where these emotions whether good or bad stem from, is within. Figure out where they started and heal them. Once you have faced your demons and acknowledged that they are there, you can do the work to release it from your heart and create the life and relationship you’ve always known you could and should have. It’s all up to you. Deciding in your mind and heart that you want to learn and grow spiritually and mentally for yourself first, then everything will follow. I guarantee it from experience.


With Love

The Relationship Alchemist


P.S Like on the airplane they tell you to give yourself oxygen first then help the person beside you. Only after you take care of yourself in every aspect and way first, then you can take care of others.

Steps to Alignment!

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How to fully submerse yourself in your purpose and passion? Ok! YOU KNOW HOW WE DO! We Love, We Lift, We experience Life, DIVINELY! So in order to truly embrace the life, love and growth that we are all striving to obtain, we have to be in complete alignment with the energy that corresponds to that thing. Simply put, we cannot be or receive something that is above our vibrational frequency. For example, a person who has a broke mentality is not capable of receiving lots of wealth and maintaining it because their frequency is not in alignment with that. Which is why lots of people come up on a lot of money and its gone quickly due to their mental and vibratory space not being in alignment with wealth and prosperity. But, this is where the beauty in growth and reaching higher levels come in. We are all capable of transforming thoughts and therefore raising our vibration. When we challenge the thoughts that have been repetitively detrimental to our growth and success, we begin the process of transformation. We are unable to grasp higher concepts and consciousness, if we do not recognize the dark parts in ourselves that are not congruent to where we want to go. So here are some steps to begin mental alchemy and submerse yourself in your passion and passion.


Step 1: Recognize detrimental thought patterns. We can realize the thought habits that are negatively affecting us by sitting quietly (i.e Meditation) and listening to the different insanity that come to mind. While sitting quietly with no distractions (TV, IG, FB, Radio, children, spouse) allow your mind to go wherever it may. Be aware that this part of your mind that is rambling is your logical mind (BIG BAD EGO). The logical mind is concerned with survival. It believes, that because you are still living, everything is fine and nothing needs to change. That is why thoughts that are discomforting continue to come though you wish they wouldn’t. (Side Note: these may also be thoughts that are not negative per se’ but simply are not in


Step 2: After identifying those inferior, imperfect thoughts you want to pinpoint where they stem from.  So, what I like to do is write down the thoughts that are not serving me to my highest potential. After I’ve written them down and can see them, I contemplate on what experiences and programming has lead me to think these thoughts. This step is important because often times we need to heal from past experiences and deprogram our subconscious mind. For example, using AFFIRMATIONS!!!



Step 3: Once the negative thoughts and where they stem from have been identified, you want to begin implanting your mind with the thoughts that do serve you and lead you to your highest level of consciousness. A great way to do this is right under where you have written the unfavorable thoughts write down the positive thoughts that align with your highest purpose and passion.


For example:

Negative: I’m broke and won’t find a job that satisfies my personal needs and passion

Positive: I am worthy of abundant success and prosperity. It is in my DNA to fulfill my purpose and live abundantly!


Step 4: Lastly, use the positive words that you have determined serve you to your highest potential as an affirmation. Every time a thought pops into your mind that is not directly in alignment with the highest good within you, respond with the positive thought. It is important to remember to RESPOND and not REACT. To react is to feel the negativity in your being causing you to experience pain or fear in that moment, which is what feeds the negative thought to return. To respond is to recognize that the thought is just on a recorder and that you can negate it (take away its power) by immediately speaking and thinking a positive, serving thought right after.


I hope these four simple steps challenge you and lead you exactly to where you want to be!


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Welcome to TheDivineMelanin_  family! YOU KNOW HOW WE DO! We Love, We Lift, We experience Life. Ok! I Know most of us have heard people talk about affirmations! Some people are completely aware of what they are and how they work and others are not. So, I want to dive into it! An affirmation is a declaration. It is something that you state as a fact; strongly and publicly. It is to affirm. Now that we know what it is, how exactly do we use affirmations. Well, we use affirmations to implant ideas into the subconscious mind (creator of our reality) using the conscious mind (logical mind, ego). Affirmations are used to make our subconscious mind believe what we want from our conscious mind. Affirmations work through REPETITION! We must affirm over and over again in order to truly implant the ideas we have created to allow them to manifest. Affirmations will only yield success if they are used repetitively with emotion. So if you are affirming “I am a great, successful business owner” but there is no passion or conviction in your words your subconscious mind will not believe and therefore will not create the success you are looking for as a business owner. I personally say my affirmations twice a day! Once in the morning and once in the evening to ensure I am saying them enough times to make a noticeable difference.

images-2When using affirmations to create and  manifest you have to be COMMITTED and CONSISTENT, PASSIONATE and PURE about what you want. A key concept when affirming is to use the always powerful words ” I AM”! I AM has infinite power. I AM the I AM from the biblical text is referencing that anything you put after I AM is amplified and is capable of producing. I challenge you to AFFIRM what it is that you are, what is it that you want to manifest and bring into your reality. Affirmations is just one method of tapping into the divinity within you to bring what you want into creation! What do you affirm and want to manifest. Be it love, money, health or anything else, AFFIRM it for 100 days straight and watch it blossom!




A Phase in Your Journey

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While on our journey to enlightenment and higher realization we go through and encounter these spiritual phases that correspond to our emotions, day to day life and overall satisfaction or lack there of in our current reality.

The two I would like to focus on briefly go hand and hand and are on the same line in terms of polarity. Stagnation/Complacency /Lack of Creativity  & Creativity/ Progression.

There are many phases in spiritual growth and all are necessary to realize your greatest potential and to manifest the you, you know are and can be. As we learn, grow, transform and transcend we go through moments of stagnation. Life is boring, no creativity or spontaneity takes place in your reality. You aren’t motivated and don’t have a clear vision of what you want to see happen in your life. Or maybe you do and simply can’t wrap your mind around the always true fact that in order to bring about certain things you must first be that thing, embody the same energy and start where you are. This period in your life is vital. Without it, how do you come to know what it really means to work for what you want. INWARDLY then OUTWARDLY. We must do the mental work as well as making progressive steps to see our dreams and aspirations become a reality. 03d30350d920748484816be6e24694cb


The other end of stagnation and a mundane life is creativity and progression. I love the words of James Van Fleet in his book How to Unleash the Power of your Subconscious Mind “Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile ideal”. This saying is beautifully composed and forces you to dive deeper. To be inspired is to have a worthwhile ideal. To have a worthwhile idea is to be creative. When you have this worthwhile ideal and you are constantly making efforts to move more in unison with this idea you achieve success. Having a goal and something to accomplish big or small creates a spirit of excitement. This is a state of being. It is an energy that you have created and are living out. All things that occur in your reality are directly correlated to your spirit. Spirit creates your life as you know it. Your emotions are signs as to where you are in spirit and how it will show up in this dimension.

Are you in a spiritual phase or place of complacency, unknowing, stagnation and boredom. Do you feel unmotivated, frustrated, or numb. If you are feeling this way, you are not alone and we all go through it. I’m sure you’ve also been in a spiritual space of instinctual success, decisiveness, knowing, Ascension and growth in your past. And like that has passed so shall this. To begin to redirect, reshape and reunite with the energy that is divinely you (which is of complete creativity and manifestation) you must create the atmosphere and cultivate the feelings that you know directly correspond to that which you want to have, do and become. You can embody the energy you want to manifest by doing the things you know you would naturally do in that role.

Whatever it is that you want to be or do, you already know exactly how to achieve it and be it because you are one with the creator; In all honestly YOU ARE THE CREATOR! Take action intuitively. And if at this moment you realize that now is a phase of going with the flow and remaining where you are then do so. But when inspiration comes whether from another person, an image, nature or simply a thought of your own answer your call to yourself to shift the energy and create what has been yours for the making since your very existence.



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To have vision and purpose is to know within the deepest depth of your core that there is something within you to be manifested in this reality that will leave life changing imprints on the hearts and minds of whomever and whatever you encounter. The vision and purpose that engulfs my divine being is to present knowledge and awareness to all on an array of topics that affect everyone in their daily life. So without further due, I would like to introduce you to The Divine Melanin Blog! In this blog I will allow you all venture with me on my journey to self spiritual healing as well as offer information to that will aide you in your own healing in whatever you see the need.